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In November 2021, Sajid Javed, the then Health Secretary for the UK, stated that all medical staff would be mandated for the Covid shots. This was a 180-degree U-turn on the earlier official government position. We shouldn’t have been surprised after all, just a few months earlier, tens of thousands of care workers were mandated to take the shots. In fact in the same month he claimed he 'won't ever look at' mandatory vaccinations for the general public - see here.
There were at least 100000 healthcare workers like me who did NOT want to take the experimental so-called vaccines. The announcement by Sajid was a massive body blow to me. There was no way I would comply with the Government's demand to have three shots by April 2022. It was an incredibly stressful time in my life. I had sleepless nights, and the stress was killing me. I was telling patients that I couldn’t guarantee that I would be able to look after them anymore. I couldn’t schedule any patients for surgery and had to cancel many because a lot of operations required me to follow patients up for 6 months to a year, and it would be reckless of me to operate on patients and not be able to follow them up or deal with any complications that might arise. I had accepted that my hard-won, successful career was going to come to an end, and I was devastated. How would I earn a living and keep a roof over my head?
What shocked me in those dark days was the fact that none, and I mean none, of my colleagues felt that there was a problem with the mandates. In fact, the only problem they could see was me. In their eyes, they couldn’t understand why I just didn’t roll up my sleeve and comply. Why was I creating such a fuss over nothing? Why had I gone all crazy and conspiratorial?
But to me, I felt as if I was living in a land where the alien body snatchers had taken over all my colleagues. Why couldn't they see the gross violation of the fundamental tenets of medical ethics, which are bodily autonomy and informed consent? I was flabbergasted, confused, disillusioned and dismayed. My regular listeners will know by now that I am quite an emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve kinda guy. I cried so many nights. Because I wouldn’t be able to treat my patients and do what I love, because my colleagues had failed me so miserably and because the world was so much darker than I had realised. I mourned the death of my career and my respect for the medical profession.
What most people were led to believe was that the mandates affected frontline workers only or clinical staff. It didn’t. The NHS is the largest employer in England and one of the largest globally by headcount, employing directly roughly 1.5 million people. The mandates affected not only all 1.5 million workers but also anyone entering the grounds of a private or NHS medical building, whether it be a contractor, gardener or delivery man. The so-called “medical” mandate would have forced millions to take the jab.
I went on my first protest in December and was comforted by the sheer number of people on the streets. The vast majority were nurses, healthcare assistants and paramedics. I discovered my tribe and loved them for their bravery and courage. We held the line.
I posted regularly on my Instagram stories, but other than that, I didn’t have much of a voice.
But then, somehow, somewhere, someone heard about me and asked me if I would go on GB National TV to talk about the mandates. My regular listeners won’t believe what I am about to say next. But it is the truth. I was petrified.
On the 22nd of January 2022, I went to the TV studio. I was sweating, had tummy cramps, and hadn’t been this nervous since the medical finals! I think what I was most worried about was not doing my “side” justice and coming across as irrational or looney, tripped up by unfriendly or hostile presenters, unable to say everything I wanted to, or not remembering everything I wanted to say.
In the end, I didn’t remember everything I wanted to say, I didn’t get a chance to say everything I wanted to say, and I said things that I could have worded a lot better.
The presenters were actually the least of my problems; they were, in fact, quite sympathetic.
“On one hand, we've got mandates and on the other hand, we've got personal freedom, bodily autonomy, and informed consent. If you think you can have both, you're gravely mistaken”
Afterwards, I sensed relief. I had said something at least to question the mandates, and at least I would be able to look back and say, “At least I said something”. My doctor's colleagues at work said nothing to me in the days and weeks after my appearance. But what was incredible was the number of nurses, clerical staff and cleaners who would come up to me and hug me and say “thank you”. Just writing about this now is making tears well up in my eyes. I’ll never forget the nurse who cried and told me about her 28-year-old nephew who died the day after his 2nd shot, leaving a young son behind. And there were other such stories of medical complications after the shots. As sad as it was to hear, it validated in my heart that I was right to speak up.
A few days later, I was less nervous and feeling more optimistic. Something in the air had changed.
Well, I was right to be optimistic because, in a sudden turn of events, the mandates were dropped on the 31st of January, 2022.
I can not tell you how relieved and happy I was on the 1st of February, 2022.
But little did I know then that while the activist in me had been born, so too had I sown the seeds of the eventual death of my career.
Much love, as always.
Ahmad x
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I Ahmad Malik: am a private civilian, protected by the Geneva Convention.
My substack, social media posts and podcasts are my personal experiences, observations and opinions. This information is for educational purposes only. Although I am a doctor, I am not your doctor, and I am not providing medical or legal advice to you or to the wider public. I am not licensed or registered with the GMC or any other licensing board.
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