Doc Malik Podcast Suspended
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Thank you Umara and Judea
It’s hard to believe it’s been almost two years since I started the podcast. In that time, I’ve published over 320 episodes, giving a voice to dissidents, scientists, doctors, experts, and everyday people to expose lies, deceit, and corruption. It’s also been a platform to empower those awakening to the harsh truths of our world—offering something real to counter the relentless noise of mainstream (and mainstream alternative) media.
But the podcast has taken a toll on me—mentally, physically, and emotionally—and it’s only recently that I’ve truly come to understand that.
As some of you know, I went on a plant medicine journey late last year. The biggest message I took from it was the need to connect with and love my inner child—someone I realised had been deprived of love. For the first time, I understood why I’ve suffered from imposter syndrome all my life and why I’ve worked so relentlessly hard and been so tough on myself.
Of course, plant medicine is just the start. Integration afterward is where the real work begins—and I see now that I skipped that vital step. I thought I had done it, but I hadn’t. Loving yourself takes many forms, and I wasn’t doing that.
In late December, I injured my neck during jiu-jitsu— a C7 disc prolapse. Agonising, but thanks to Simon King (a past guest on the show), I recovered within six weeks. Foolishly, I went straight back to training... and re-injured my neck—this time my C6 disc. And this time, it was 20 times worse.
Since February, I’ve barely had a good night’s sleep. I wake 4 to 8 times each night to adjust myself, trying to stop my nerve from getting trapped and my arm from burning with pain. The sleep deprivation has been a form of torture, and it’s made me irritable—something I hate, especially around my children and my long-suffering wife. I’m normally full of joy but I’ve just felt so flat and miserable.
An MRI in mid March confirmed a large disc pressing on the C6 nerve root. Sitting and lying down are agony—walking is the only relief. I’ve tried everything: homeopathy, acupuncture, hot stones, massage, myofascial work... and finally, I feel a slight corner being turned. But the progress has been slow. Despite the pain I’ve been carrying on with the work and publishing the podcast. It’s been incredibly difficult.
A dear friend—now the head of spinal surgery at a major London hospital—told me to hold off on injections, to trust my body, and to allow it to heal. I’m grateful to him, and to Marianne Walsh, Poppy, and Sarah Jane for their care and help through the darkest days. And of course, to my wife, who massages me every night after her own long day of work.
Still, I have a long way to go.
Last night I tried a microdose of plant medicine to help with sleep. Instead, it took me on another journey—where I faced more inner demons. I realised I still wasn’t loving myself. One fear that surfaced: if I don’t produce content, I’ll be abandoned by my subscribers. Stupid I know.
Many of us Substackers are struggling to maintain and grow our paid subscriber base. Is it economic pressure? Or something more sinister behind Substack itself? I don’t know.
What I do know is that I haven’t had a single day off in two years. I’ve worked every day—recording, editing, researching, writing. And I’m exhausted. I also try and ignore my critics and the negative comments but I would be lying to say I am immune to them.
Some say the injury isn't just physical. It may be from posture, from long hours spent typing, editing, and staring at screens. Others suggest it's my body’s way of telling me to stop and rest. Last night, I finally heard that message.
So I’m suspending the podcast for the next two weeks.
I’ve already canceled dozens of interviews. I mistakenly booked people over the Easter holidays—not realising I’d be home with the kids. A fortunate mistake, in hindsight.
I’ll be completely off-grid—radio silent. I’m often inundated with emails and messages, and while I normally try to respond to everyone, I ask for your understanding if you don’t hear from me during this time. I need this break.
Sitting to type is excruciating, so I’m now using dictation software. It helps, but still requires editing. I may publish a Substack or two if I feel up to it, but the focus is rest and healing. The truth is, I’ve cried from the pain. Nights sobbing in bed, unable to get comfortable. I’m so tired. I don’t want to admit it, but I am.
There’s so much work to do in this world. I thought short monologues would be a way to keep going. But I’ve realised I need to stop, completely. I need to put myself first. For once.
I am going to rest, heal, and enjoy the retreat next week with my beautiful tribe.
My journey last year was about learning to love myself—and yet I still haven’t. This pause is me finally trying to.
Please pray for me. I hope to return stronger than ever.
Much love,
Doc Malik
ps The next retreat is the last week of June. I’ll publish details soon.
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Doc Malik
Health - Freedom - Happiness
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Doc Malik Honest Health is a reader-listener supported publication. To support my work, and help fight back against the evil bastards, upgrade to Paid and join the clan of freedom loving dissidents! (please)
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I hope you enjoy this episode.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AWESOME
Much love Ahmad
Disclaimer
I Ahmad Malik: am a private civilian, protected by the Geneva Convention.
My substack, social media posts and podcasts are my personal experiences, observations and opinions. This information is for educational purposes only. Although I am a doctor, I am not your doctor, and I am not providing medical or legal advice to you or to the wider public. I am not licensed or registered with the GMC or any other licensing board.
The responsibility for the interpretation, due diligence and use of the information from my substack and my podcast lies with you, the viewer and/or listener. Please do your research, and use your discernment.
It is not my intention to harass, intimidate, offend, defame, conspire, blackmail, coerce or cause anxiety, alarm or distress to any man or woman, and the information presented here is done so with peaceful and honourable intentions.
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Hi Ahmad, I love your podcasts & great guests. I learn so much. Clearly though your body needs you to learn now. You’ve been through so much & come out stronger but now you need to rest & heal. I love your honesty & the fact you are able to show your vulnerabilities. No one is superhuman! So take the time you need, time with your family & with yourself. Loyal subscribers will still be here. Much love & all good wishes for a full recovery, Lynda S🙏
We understand. Glad you are taking care of yourself.